Aug 21 2008
Anybody else getting Giddy about the Democratic Convention?
I know - why would a staunch conservative like myself want to watch or even care about the Democratic Convention next week? Just because I want to see the horror that awaits us if Obama gets elected! You know, they say you need to understand your enemy if you are to defeat them. If you haven’t already done so - you should at least take a look at their website - Democratic National Convention - Denver 2008 - just so you can see the crazy topics, discussions, roundtables, and events they have proposed! To coin a phrase from Glenn Beck - it’ll make blood shoot from your eyes!
Not only that - but based on some of the speakers on the line-up - I have a feeling this is going to be a Bush Bashing event as well! - Here’s how I see this going:
Hi! My name is Al “Do as I say or the Earth will explode” Gore and I’m an alcoholic the Presidency was stolen from me by that idiot Bush in 2000. Don’t get caught up in the fact that USA Today, The New York Times, and the L.A. Times all conducted their own independent counts and investigations and found that I still would have lost. The fact of the matter is that those Bushite judges stole this election from me. I know they were appointed by Billy Boy “Do you want a cigar?” Clinton. Those republitards paid off those judges! But - we’re not going to let those bastards steal the election from God, er, Obama, are we?(Thunderous applause erupts!)
Hi! I’m John F. “I’m prettier than Tereza” Kerry and I’m an alcoholic I had the Presidency stolen from me by that moron Bush and his swiftboat friends. I know they kept showing that same old video reel of me testifying before the senate stating that our soldiers were raping, pillaging, and killing innocent civilians in Viet Nam like Genghis Khan - but, that was all taken out of context! Even though I refuse to release my service records regarding my Purple Hearts - I know what I know is to be true. You just have to believe me. Besides, they weren’t even my Purple Hearts that I threw over the White House fence! Bushy and I both attended Yale - and even though I won’t release my records or my IQ scores - I can affirm that I am most definitely smarter than that idiot! So - we’re not going to let Corsi swiftboat The Messiah, umm, Obama, are we? (More thunderous applause)
Hah! Ahm Jimmy “I hate those Jews” Cahtah and I’m an alcoholic I lost the Presidency to Reagan and that idiot Bush’s father in a landslide in 1980. They portrayed me as weak and ineffective. Nevermind the fact that I’m personally responsible for the Theocracy in Iran today. Forget the fact that I screwed up that hostage rescue operation in 1979 that just delayed things even further. You know, even though I had the worst Presidency in the world economically with double-digit inflation, double-digit unemployment, and the worst recession since the 1929 stock market crash resulting in the great depression (did you know I have the highest ever Misery Index ?) that doesn’t mean I’m weak! So, you know what! We’re not going to let that McCain camp present Our Lord and Savior, uh, Obama as being inexperienced and weak are we? (Louder thunderous applause)
Anyway - when you top that off with the fact that Shillary “My husband didn’t do it” Clinton is being put up for nomination as well - this is going to be one humdinger of a convention! Can you imagine what would happen if somehow SHE actually gets the nomination instead of The Obamessiah? All hell will literally break loose there. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Clinton machine isn’t working behind the scenes right now trying to get support from the Super-Delegates given the fact that Zogby now has McCain ahead by 5 points.
This is going to be fun to watch!
